Verification Vocabulary

Pandslyz

2011-08-16T02:30:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Pand-slyahyz] noun. Pandslyzed, Pandslyzing.

An outfit originally used by criminals as a disguise to aid escape, but now used throughout the animal kingdom and is popular at parties and theme parks. The costume comes with a reputation of being able to transform anyone into a panda. Regrettably, this is not always the case...

Sessity

2010-12-29T10:04:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Sess-it-ee] verb. Sessitize, Sessitising, Sessitised. adjective. Sessities pl.

A word used to describe an essential tool needed to carry out an dangerous and risky activity. Derived from the word 'necessity', this abbreviated form is only used when one has little time to fit in the extra syllable because they are having to concentrate so very hard.

Bedlar

2010-10-23T09:46:00.001-07:00

Pronounced [bed - lar]

A type of lecturn designed for use in bed. Deployed when the reader has been in bed for so long the neck begins to ache.

Compoti

2010-10-13T02:14:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [comm - pot - ee] noun.

Decaying vegetable matter which is thrown like confetti to humiliate people. Very popular in medieval times alongside stocks, compoti is now experiencing a renaissance in crime prevention all over the UK. This is in the form of a new punishment system whereby the prosecuted have so much compoti thrown at them, they become composted.

Galinini

2010-10-12T08:53:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Gal - i – ni - ni] adverb, adjective

To sing A Cappella
Galinini is the extended dramatic modern A Cappella way of singing, usually in a close four-part harmony and nearly always in B-flat major and is completely different to the Renaissance polyphony and Baroque concertato style of a cappello singing.
First adopted by the popular band Queen for their rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody where such immortal words as "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?" were sung in this way.

Herstspe

2010-10-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Hurs - step - pee] noun.

A formidable and invisible Greek God who rides in the back of hurses. And is incharge of taking the last bits of a soul into their next step. This next step can vary, depending on what the soul in question wanted these steps to be. No one knows what he looks like, but it is thought that he is shaped like a box, that his eyes are like red lazers and that he smells of lily pollen.

Anplier

2010-10-09T06:08:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [an - ply - er] noun

A word for a single plier, this small anti pincer with long jaws, originally used for bending wire, holding small objects, etc. now defunct but often kept for reasons unknown.

Bordello

2010-10-07T08:19:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [bawr - del - oh] noun

A small cradle on casters used by the Bordelais - She placed her daughter in a bordello

Graphicu

2010-03-10T11:22:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Graf-ik-oo]. noun.

An error in a very complicated graphical drawing that is only spotted, or made, near to its completion. Can lead to symptoms of stress for the draughtsman and the loss of the will to live.

Winglati

2010-02-11T12:50:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Wing-latty] noun.

A chick with a high IQ and is really too clever for its own good.

Cosses

2010-02-08T12:41:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Coze-zees] noun.

The little things in life that leave one feeling happy, loved and fulfilled.

Slugsma

2010-02-04T12:38:00.001-08:00

Pronounced [Sluggz-ma] noun. verb. adjective. Slugsmaticsed

To have a very bad nights sleep, leaving one feeling groggy and slow in the morning.

Essodess

2010-02-04T12:32:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Esso-dess] noun. adjective. verb. Essodessed, Essodessing, Essodess

A building caked in satellite dishes, or the act of decorating ones house with satellite dishes until it looks ridiculous.

Deptesif

2010-01-30T02:40:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [ Dep - tes - if ] noun

An advanced, highly calibrated instrument, invented by Hipparchus, to measure the apparent diameter of the full moon. Still used today by NASA.

Lunnua

2010-01-12T11:41:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Lunn-oo-err] noun.

An expensive and rare cheese which is found under the moons surface and can be mined using a special three-legged device as shown (above). Protective clothing must be worn at all times incase of inhalation, as Lunnua is a smelly cheese.

n.b. Not to be confused with 'lunular' - a word from the 16th Century used to describe something crescent shaped.

Preepo

2010-01-10T09:02:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Pree - po ] verb

To emit a sound to match or accentuate a moment, movement or occasion, eg: say cheese.

Webdew

2010-01-08T10:19:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [web-dwu] noun.

Moisture which has condensed from the atmosphere and deposited itself in the form of small drops on spiderwebs. Known to cause famine and depression in spiders.

Stalized

2010-01-06T12:07:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Stal-lahyz] verb. adj. Stalize, Stalizing, Stalized.

To wash something that shouldn't be washed. The results of stalization is to ruin, or to completely destroy, the item that you were intending to clean. To avoid stalization, always read the label.

Wileg

2010-01-03T07:47:00.001-08:00

Pronounced [Why-leg] noun.

A unique model of bicycle made for people with exceptionally long legs.

Enzotsma

2009-12-27T06:30:00.001-08:00

Pronounced [Enz-ots-ma] noun.

Technical name for a Christmas tree eye injury. A scratch to the eye lens caused by poking the tip of the branch into the eye when decorating with baubles. Symptoms are burning itching eye and blurred vision. Permanent injury (rare) results in an enzotsmatism.

Mityeye

2009-12-22T08:53:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Mitt-ee-eye]. adjective.

The state one gets into when they have lost a mitten, which is on a string, somewhere round the back of their coat or up at the top of the sleeve. Best method to avoid mityeye is to wear a warm sleeveless coat for the winter season.

Ferly

2009-12-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Fur-lee] adjective.

A word used to describe a desiccated leaf.

Prock

2009-12-18T11:01:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Prawck] noun.

A professional who acts like a moron. These professionals are usually very clever, but chose not to display their intellegence. They do this either by acting the clown - Boris Johnson is a good example of this. Or they behave pompously and become patronising know-it-alls.

Gosties

2009-12-15T18:20:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Gost-ees] noun.

Name given to a group of particularly vicious ghosts. They pretend that they are just bedlinen, but that's how they get away with it. Best way of exterminating all gosties is to dry linen on washing lines firmly fixing with as many pegs as possible. If you see anything like the above you must report it to Supernatural Intellegance (SI5).

Knaphole

2009-12-14T11:04:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Nap–hole] noun.

A makeshift sleeping compartment with no mod-cons or facilities.

Masyti

2009-12-12T11:27:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Meyz-it-tie] noun. adj. verb. Masyti, Masytied, Masyting.

To masyti is to defy the laws of physics. A verb that describes any action which cannot be explained by mathematics. It is often entertaining to watch masyting, and rather mind-bloggling. Bumblebees have mastered the art of masyting to perfection.

Shessim

2009-12-10T10:43:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [She – s – sim] verb

To disappear suddenly or slowly, to cease to be seen; vanish from sight by the dark arts of magic.

For illustration purposes only keep staring at the blue dot in the middle of the picture. The blue dot will shrink slowly and then disappear completely ! This is due to the color receptors in your eyes getting tired. This is NOT magic but science; shessim is purely magic and so cannot be illustrated.

Octomp

2009-12-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Okt-tomp] noun. verb. Octomp, Octomping, Octomped

A walk which involves much stamping, or stomping, of the feet, along with wide steps that are a minimum of eight spans apart. It is a very difficult walk to achieve without falling over.

Restio

2009-12-03T13:57:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [res –ti – o] verb

To lie, sit or lean. To relieve weariness and relax. e.g. Her arm rastioed on the table

Origin: before 900; ME, OE akin to ras and ME resten

Bedessiful

2009-12-02T10:51:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Bed-ess-ee-fuhl] adjective.

A word that describes a very good story. From the ME 'bedd' and OE 'best', it was a word made of two parts used to describe fantastic bed-time stories. Nowadays however, it is used to describe any amazing story that is good enough to attract crowds.

Hannul

2009-12-01T08:57:00.000-08:00

Prounounced [Han-nuhl] noun.

A festive period of time, celebrated by Christmaphobes. Traditionally runs from the first day of advent and ends on the twelfth night. The feast involves hannulalists becoming more depressed as advent develops. Essential complaining, avoidance of market spaces, tutting at decorations and the shredding of Christmas cards are important rituals during Hannul.

Noniterp

2009-11-30T11:45:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [ Noni - terp ] noun
A person who knows a lot about words and who has even been known to appear on television trying to convince others of his or her expertise.

Vismeret

2009-11-29T07:11:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Viss-mer-ette] noun.

The name given to a person who pretends to be someone with noble blood, when either they are not of noble blood, or they are of a lower ranking within the ranks of nobilty to what they are claiming to be. Examples of Vismeret's are Prince John (1166 – 1216) in the film Robin Hood, and the Count Monte Cristo.

Hempion

2009-11-28T07:29:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Hemp-ee-on] noun.

A house made out of hemp (Cannabis sativa L. subsp. sativa). One of the finest designs available in modern living. Not yet for sale in department stores becuase there are concerns at how it will effect sales in their interior decoration section if this item becomes popular.

Atifoo

2009-11-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [At-tee-fou] noun.

A temporary lapse in awareness when one is going to sleep. Usually feels like one has jumped from a height and is typified with movement of the lower body into a tense, bracing position. It is thought to be an evolutionary development to stop creatures falling out of trees by reminding them that they are in a tree just before they sleep.

Derived from the word 'at' - to be at a place, and 'fooea' - a temporary lapse in concentration.

Toriamo

2009-11-25T11:25:00.001-08:00

Pronounced [ Tori - a - mo ] noun
A covering or armament worn as a defence against a bull when fighting. Usually with an outer wrapping of metal fine braided wires and often very aggravatingly colourful to the bull.

Word supplied and found by Pony Mad Maria.

Synave

2009-11-24T08:30:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Sigh-neyv] noun.

The static energy that surrounds aircraft after long distance flights. The energy field is known to become so powerful, that all sorts of objects can stick to the craft while it is in the air. Once in the energy field, it is very difficult to get out of it. Engineers are currently working on a solution to this problem.

Huffster

2009-11-23T13:13:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Huff - ster] noun

A person who chooses to sulk as a way of getting attention rather than push on in the face of adversity.

Squar

2009-11-21T08:43:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Skwarr] noun.

Collective noun for many pumpkins. Squars, once lit, make excellent draft excluders.

Purchou

2009-11-21T08:23:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Perch-oou] noun. verb. adj.
Perchoued, Perchoues, Perchouing.

To stand in the way. To be in an inconvenient place.

Explati

2009-11-20T10:31:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Ex – plar – ti] noun.

A tone of sound that produces a quality of pitch that outstrips all other harmonic notes.

Twebile

2009-11-19T11:06:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Twee – bile] noun.

A wireless telephone encased in soft velvet plush for a baby. It operates over a relatively large area and is the device of choice used to command the parent to do almost anything for the baby. It is usually supplied with a small padded handcuff to fix securely to babies wrist or ankle.

Word found by Peter

Slarmine

2009-11-18T13:32:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Slarr-mine] adjective. verb.

Slarmine, Slarmined, Slarmining

To give students too much reading material, or to supply them with too-longer reading lists so that their brains become overloaded. To be slarmined, is to be snowed under with non-fiction. Can leave the mind wanting to do something imaginative.

Fracurs

2009-11-17T10:40:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Frak-errz] noun.

A pair of ridiculous shoes. They can take on many forms, but they have the common feature of being completely impractical. Ladies usually wear pairs of fracurs.

From the Latin fractura, meaning a fracture (usually of the ankle, leg or toe).

Foxin

2009-11-15T09:41:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [ Fox - in ] noun

To hide from sight, to prevent from being discovered. Originally linked to the fox in the hunt.

Trolk

2009-11-13T10:09:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Tr - ohl – k] noun

A race of nervous supernatural beings that wear tights and capes that inhabit subterranean dwellings, conceived as giants they are in fact dwarfs.

Sosurel

2009-11-12T10:38:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [ Sos – ur – el] adjective Sos'd (slang)

Intoxicated with alcoholic liquor to the point of impairment of physical and mental faculties. To be completely sos'd.

Fooea

2009-11-11T08:35:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Foo-ee-er] noun.

A temporary lapse in concentration. Often feels like someone has blocked a thought pathway in the brain. Most frequent when trying to add up small numbers, or spell short and easy words. A fooea has the side-effect of making one feel a bit stupid.

Dulopane

2009-11-10T08:52:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [ Dulo - pane ] noun

An exceptionally strong transparent sticking tape used by the ministry of defence to mend aeroplanes. When applied correctly the tape can withstand speeds of up to Mach 2.0+ and has been invaluable, particularly on the F - 22 Raptor repairing the faulty thrust vectoring nozzles. It was developed in 1995 by a British inventor.
Initially this was a completely top secret product for military use. The domestic version, Sellotape, was developed in 1937 by Colin Kininmonth and George Gray by coating Cellophane film with natural rubber resin. Dulopane is similar but is coated with super glue. Dulopanes' use is recommended with extreme caution. Super glue went on to become available to the public and carries a similar warning.

Tribbli

2009-11-09T11:14:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Trib-blee] verb. Tribbli, Tribblied, Tribbling

To walk on the roof of a moving train. First became popular in North America in the 1840s with 'cowboys', who were the first to develop this complicated skill. They were so adept, that they had fights on top of trains. The act of tribbling has died out in recent years, possibly because it is dangerous...

Hubmate

2009-11-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Hub – mate] noun.

A modern day hitch-hiker, now called a hubmate can officially insist you drive them to work and back in order to save on carbon emissions. The law also affords the hubmate the right to make formal arrangements for recreation times as well, this can extend the hubmat’s immediate family too if seats are available.

A drivers civil rights are not violated if their car has the capacity for extra passengers when there are empty seats available.

Drogi

2009-11-07T12:54:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Droh-gee] noun.

A very badly made cup of tea. Common on trains and in train stations. Made with water that is so hot, it should be labelled with a hazard sign:

Often the tea bags can let the cuppa down, especially when they contain what appears to be saw dust, as does UHT milk. We still have not found a way to save a disappointing cuppa, but it is suspected that much finger waving and conjuring could do the trick. It may also frighten the café staff into making better cups.

Flingap

2009-11-06T10:44:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Fling-gapp]. noun.

A gap which is too large to simply jump over, and requires one to actually fling themselves across it in order to make it to the other side. It is a very dangerous operation to cross a flingap.

Ionitis

2009-11-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Ion – i – tis] noun.

Extreme pain in the arms brought about by too much spirited ironing.

This condition is also known as repetitive strain injury (RSI), Neglected Laundry Trauma (NLT), Iron Overuse Syndrome (IOS), and Broken Facial Vein disorder (BFVD). All are common ailments found in people who insist on wearing linen or hemp clothing.

The treatment includes resting the upper body in an elasticated bandage and a weekly evaluation of the damage. It usually takes three weeks to recover to full mobility. The solution is to wear solely dry cleaned clothing where a full laundry service is provided including steam pressing.

Wuribink

2009-11-04T11:14:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Wur-ee-bingk] verb. Wuribink, Wuribinking, Wuribinked

The action of closing your eyes and then pressing on them too hard with your fingers. The appearance of bright colours while the eyes are closed is a good indicator that one is wuribinking. Although this action has been ill advised, it has become a ritual in offices, and is directly related to the increase of computers since the 1990s. Best method to prevent wuribink, and therefore avoid the damage that it may be causing, is to wear a good set of false eyelashes.

Espied

2009-11-03T13:15:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Esp - ied] verb.

To observe discreetly with hostile intent.

Mutio

2009-11-02T10:36:00.000-08:00

Pronounced [Mut - i - o] noun.

Secret name for Mother Superior used by the Novice nun.

Reditat

2009-10-31T11:05:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Redd-ee-tatt] noun.

Inexpensive objects that are loved a lot by their owners. People are known to risk their lives in order to save their reditat, signifying the huge sentimental value attached to these items.

Dezae

2009-10-30T08:44:00.001-07:00

Pronounced [Deeze - ay] noun.

The feeling you have after dancing like a whirling dervish. To amplify the feeling the option of donning a heavy flower pot on the head enhances the dezae to fantastic proportions.

Dayflum

2009-10-29T12:28:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Dey-fluhm] noun.

It is the time when a day of celebration comes to an end and when no one wants it to end. Adults usually characterise this time by playing odd games. Children however, usually start making things out of wrapping paper or any other object that was used in the celebration. After Dayflum, children can cry and it is advised that you let dayflum last as long as possible in order to improve the creative energies of your child.

Fubble

2009-10-28T12:08:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [fubb – el] noun.

A Fubble is the small button which locks into the metal clip that hangs off on elastic ribbon attached to a suspender belt, girdle or undergarment and used to hold up stockings, three fubbles to a leg. The top most fabric of the stocking is trapped between the rubber fubble and the metal buckle. If the fubble is missing a good substitution used be a small coin like a sixpence, nowadays a one euro coin will suffice.

Exivoidal

2009-10-28T00:52:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [ek-si-voyd-all] noun. verb. Exivoide, Exvoides, Exvoided.

The behaivour of a person when they don't want to be seen. Often performed when they see someone they are trying to avoid. Typified by tip-toeing and backwards walking, but can go to the extreme of hiding behind walls and bushes.

Queeba

2009-10-26T17:25:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Kwee-bah] noun.

A unit of measurement used to measure very tiny vibrations.

Plize

2009-10-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Pli - zz] noun.

Something that is taken from another's persons rubbish. Usually from a skip, a plize is a possession that is gained or taken by picking; a trophy from nothing.

Faulph

2009-10-21T06:53:00.000-07:00

Pronounced (Ful – m – f) noun

The sound made when landing at the bottom of a helter-skelter as the coir woven matt hits the tufted mat at the journeys end.

Painting by Stanley Spencer

Perring

2009-10-20T10:10:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Per-ring] noun.

A person who feels unhappy with their body, and has undergone complicated surgery to become a fish. Unfortunately, this type of surgery has not yet perfected the construction of gills, fins or scales.

Coulf

2009-10-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Kuhlf] noun, verb. Coulf, coulfer, coulfering

A funny looking fruit or vegetable, or a person who collects such items. To coulfer is to collect strange looking objects from the biological world. Was first popularised by a servant called Baldrick in 1485.

Toydok

2009-10-18T03:39:00.001-07:00

Pronounced [toi – doc] noun.

A person licensed to practice medicine, as a physician, surgeon, dentist, or veterinarian on stuffed toys and dolls.

Pinotac

2009-10-17T12:54:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [pee-noh-tak] noun.

Wine that once drunk, has the unusual affect of making you stick to the wall.

Retroprud

2009-10-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Ret - troh - prud] noun.

A discipline instrument used in schools in the first half of the 19th century, sometimes referred to as the electric fish very effective but banned in 1948. The retroprud delivered a relatively high-voltage low-current electric shock by poking the pupil. The disappearance of this effective device lead to an up turn in school rioting.

Flobso

2009-10-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Flob-so] verb. noun. Flobso, Flobsoed, Flobsowing

What happens when you put too much bubble bath in the bath, and the behaviour of the foam subsequent to this action.

Ploner

2009-10-13T08:47:00.001-07:00

Pronounced [Plo – ner] noun.

An affectionate name given to someone who over improvises in order to make a situation more interesting and convincing.
To accomplish by trial and error, someone who doesn’t know the job, but can fake (plone) it.

Nonat

2009-10-11T10:21:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [No-nat] noun. Nonat, Nonats

Creatures that live on the surface of a television screen and do not like to be touched. If left for a long enough period, they reproduce and create small communities which have the organisational power to destruct. They are invisible to the naked eye, but their angry presence can be felt when someone touches a television screen. They have been known to confuse and upset children with great affect.

Exoriad

2009-10-10T10:23:00.000-07:00

Prounounced [Ex-awr-ree-add] noun.

Someone who takes being close to nature a bit too seriously.

Ingbang

2009-10-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Ing - bang] noun.

A ditched firework which although lit does not jettison vertically, but heads off on a horizontal route. Often causing untold damage with a striking display of light and loud noise.

Whaerbi

2009-10-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Wa-urb-bee] noun.

A bad hallucination whilst on drugs.

Crightis

2009-10-07T10:02:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Krahy-tiz] noun.

What happens when a mime artists' belongings become visible

Isterea

2009-10-06T01:10:00.000-07:00

Pronounced (Is-ter-e-a) noun.
An uncontrollable burst of sarcasm, coupled with wrath. Caused by having to deal with banks, public services, official bodies and automated answering services. See below:

Dear Sir/Madam/,
Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Bodmin police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead.Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Bodmin, by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board.As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in St Mary's Crescent, which is just off St Mary's Road in Bodmin.Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entirebuilding.This game is now in its third week and as I am unsure how the scoring system works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.The remaining five failed-abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on ecstasy pills.I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the caravan gas bottle that is lying on its side between the two bins.If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just finished decorating the kitchen.

What I suggest is this - after replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a Panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.I trust that when I take a claw hammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head start before coming to arrest me.
I remain your obedient servant???????

Mr ??????,
I have read your e-mail and understand your frustration at the problems caused by youths playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police. As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.
Regards PC ??????? Community Beat Officer

Dear PC ???????
First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original e-mail.16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Bodmin Police Station, and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next Guinness book. Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has its own Community Beat Officer. May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills? In the five or so years I have lived in St Mary's Crescent , I have never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin? It's surely only a matter of time before you are head-hunted by MI5 to look for Osama.Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Bodmin, such as smoking in a public place or being Christian without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere. The pitch on Fairpark Road , or the one at Priory Park are both within spitting distance as is the bottom of the Par Dock, the latter being the preferred option especially if the tide is in. Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on . If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I'll buy you a large one in the Cat and Fiddle Pub.
Regards?????????

P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don't work for the sewerage department with whom I am also in contact !!!

Photo from Hot Fuzz

Gyroar

2009-10-05T11:01:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Gahy-rawr] adjective.

The strong feeling of displeasure that occurs when one wakes up in the morning, and realises that nothing is going their way.

Guesso

2009-10-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [ges-o] noun.

A small triangular piece of material inserted into a shirt's armpit, a shoe's side or into knickers, for reinforcement.

Clonc

2009-10-03T09:51:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Klonk] noun clonc, verb clonc, cloncked, cloncking

A word used to describe a rudimentary and slightly useless invention, and the thought process leading to its construction.

Scourioun

2009-10-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Sco – ri – ON] noun.

Said loudly this is a marvelously effective word for bringing about the reverse of a spell. Can also be used to undo havoc and is particularly useful when a spell goes wrong. Emphasis should be placed at the end of the word.

Nakee

2009-09-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Naa - kee] verb.

The art of getting oil to the right temperature for deep frying.

Pedist

2009-09-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Ped - ist] noun.

A person who believes that they need to be shielded from outside external forces at all costs.

Click on image for source.

Smess

2009-09-29T11:00:00.001-07:00

Pronounced [Sm-ess] noun.

Type of dress adopted by young adults of the 21^st century. Males in smess often characterized with trousers below their bottoms. Females are not as conspicuous, but tend to wear the same clothes as their friends, especially when they are in groups. Smess outfits are typically dull, uninspired and have a tendency to look a bit ridiculous.

M. E. mes

Partiono

2009-09-29T05:40:00.000-07:00

Partiono - verb

To comb (the hair) away from a dividing line in a suave and sophisticated way, from as low a point as possible on the head.

From the English parting. Italianised so that Italian barbers can understand what is required. A word usually said very loudly, with a lot of arm movement, passion and pointing.

Suslyzin

2009-09-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

Pronounced [Sooz-lyhyz-in] noun suslyzin, verb Susly, Suslyzed

The state of a cat when it is inactive in the sunshine, i.e. to sunbathe.

From the Arabic slyzin.

Reprance

2009-09-28T00:59:00.000-07:00

Word verification, reprance – ing noun

A carousel dance step.

To repeatedly spring from the hind legs, to move by springing, like a horse. Traditionally performed in reins in a cavorting manner.

Origin 1375 – 75 middle English prauncen,

Volerti

2009-09-27T08:03:00.000-07:00

Word verification; Latin for an ancient dish easten by the Romans, of pasta filled with a pesto of vine leaves, garlic, tomatoes and dormice.

Snesils

2009-09-27T05:25:00.000-07:00

Word verification; slang for an ailment associated with the common cold that manifests itself as a croup like cough. From the old English snesil – to cough with phlegm.